Not Today Comparison

Key Verse: Psalm 68:11 (NIV) “The Lord announces his word and the women who proclaim it is a mighty throng.” 

All my life there has been one battle I have tried over and over again to gain the victory over. 

It reminds me of that part of scripture where it says that the children of Israel were never really able to capture all the Jebusites.  No matter how hard they tried to conquer them there were always some that got away to come back to cause trouble another day.  

Comparison has been my version of the Jebusites for many long years of my life.  I have desperately wanted and needed victory over it but I have never truly been able to defeat it completely.  I had sadly began to face the realization that I may always have to battle it in one form or another.

I have been learning that comparison wears different masks. It can change it’s appearance just slightly so it is able to sneak up on you.  Some days It can be very subtle and other days just slightly complicated enough that it has you in its trap before you knew it was there. 

When I was younger, the enemy tempted me to compare myself to what other women looked like. I never felt pretty enough. I was the skinny kid that other kids wanted to tease and make fun of. Other times I struggled with not feeling I was as intelligent as my peers. 

No matter what form it took in my life the result was the same. It left me sad and not feeling good enough. 

As I got older and Jesus brought some healing to my life about comparing what I physically looked like to others, it would then cause me to compare what I had to what others had. 

As I watched one friend after another buy their shiny new houses and I sat waiting for mine, comparison once again made me feel less than.

Recently,  I felt the old familiar tug of comparison again as I stepped out to follow the voice of the Lord in a venue of Christian women writers. I watched their talents on display and starting to once again feel less than.  Less well spoken, less well written and less talented. 

But something happened on this particular day as the enemy attacked. There was a shift in my soul involving comparison that I had never felt before. 

I found a verse in scripture that I had not read before and it spoke directly to my heart and awoke something in my spirit. 

The key verse says:

“The Lord announces his word and the women who proclaim it is a mighty throng.”  Psalm 68:11 (NIV)

Women called to bring glory to God through proclaiming his word.  Wasn’t that exactly what all these women I was watching and comparing myself to were doing? 

As I stood with barely my head in the door of God’s talent room peeking in at all the amazing talents on display, I began to see these women differently. God changed my perspective that day and allowed me to see them through his eyes instead of mine.  

All those talented women in my view were his daughters. The talents and gifts that were on display were the gifts and talents that he had given them to honor him. And they all were so beautiful. 

As I stood there with my one talent in my hand ready to bury it with the other, I felt God ask me a question that changed everything. 

I looked at all the talent and gifts of those godly women in that room and he asked me one simple question, “Would you really have it any other way?”  

And you know what?  My answer was No. 

God doesn’t do anything half way especially when it comes to honoring him through his son.  Anytime I pick up a pen as a writer and use it to point the way to Christ through my writing, I am honoring him. So were all these other women. And yes because of God, the very one they were to honor, they were doing it extremely well. And yes they all were beautiful. 

Some ladies in that room had ten talents and some had five. I felt I had my one but it was my one and no one else’s.  

I made a choice not to bury the talent God has given me that day. I no longer felt less than in that room but instead I suddenly felt honored.  

God had led me to that room of women with all those gifts and talents and gave me his favor too by personally inviting me in. He wanted to do the same work in me as he was doing in his other daughters there that day. 

Comparison didn’t win that day. Not this time. I was no longer less than, no longer not good enough and no longer not pretty enough. 

God made me feel more beautiful that day than I have ever felt in my life.  I was no longer less than and no longer not enough because of the greatest gift of all. The gift of his precious son, Jesus. 

With my head held high and the talent God had given me in hand, I walked into that room and took “my” place and got out “my” pen. 

No, not today Comparison.  Today you do not win. 

Whatever your comparison thing is today I challenge you to measure it against the love and great plans God has for you.  Then hold it up high for his glory.

You, sweet child of God, are never less than, never not good enough. And in the eyes of your King…….you are beautiful.