How Do I Truly Love Jesus?… Let Me Count the Ways

As I sat with a pen to paper to journal my thoughts, I was slightly convicted.  I had just spent my morning time in Song of Solomon Chapter 5:10-16 reading and, in a sense, quietly listening to a woman completely in love and smitten with her man describe him to me.

In incredible detail, she described what he looked like, how kindly he treated her, and how he magnificently conducted himself in life matters.  It was obvious.  She was over the moon and back in love with him and ready to tell all her friends in full detail how He had touched her heart. She was also ever so quick to remind all the daughters of Jerusalem this was “her” man.

These words of a woman so in love should be on the tip of every believer’s tongue to describe Christ in their heart. There should be no room for disdain, second-guessing one’s feelings, or hesitation of trust involving the one she loves.  After all, this is the one a believer will spend not just their earthly life in relationship to but throughout all eternity. It would help if you were sure beyond any doubt to be in for a long haul of that magnitude—no room for second-guessing and certainly no room for even the slightest hint of distrust. 

It got me thinking about how would I describe Jesus? What is the state of my heart looking upon Him and all He means to me in this exact moment? Am I wholly enamored and in awe of “everything” about Him?  The love of her life could do no wrong, and He was the epitome of complete perfection to her. She could find no fault in Him.  In Song of Solomon 5:16, she says, 

“His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, this is my friend, daughters of Jerusalem.” 

Would I genuinely describe Christ as “altogether” lovely if I was honest? Would my words convey complete and utter trust in His love for me, leaving absolutely no room for doubt?

Questions that, as I pondered upon them, brought something I didn’t expect.  There was a slight hesitancy there that surprised me. And within that slight hesitation was a clue that let me know that maybe my first love had shifted slightly over recent months.  

Ouch…

Sickness, family matters, and some unexpected hardship and long waits had taken a more considerable toll on my heart than I had realized.  I had some work to do in getting my relationship back in proper standing. I needed to wash my eyes with some good old-fashioned Bible salve so I could see my love again. I had allowed myself to see my life through the lens of a difference in opinion of God’s plans for me. It had then taken root way down deep in my heart that let me know distrust was starting to grow. Honestly, I had recently begun to think that God had been unfair and unkind to me.  There I had put a name on it and even spoken it aloud. 

The enemy is slick and subtle.  He never comes in like a roaring lion to steal our hearts. Instead, he creeps in slowly and inches his way in a little at a time.  If he can get our eyes off of the goodness of the Lord for just a moment, he will weave a tiny thread of distrust. If we fail to recognize that it is there, it will eventually grow to the size of a rope that will strangle our hearts of love, joy, and trust. Then, in the place of love, all that will be left is bitterness. 

I spent some time in prayer, taking all my “unfair and unkind” things to The Lord.  Amazingly, He didn’t scold me or reprimand me for confessing them. He already knew anyway.  Instead, He lovingly took them so He could help carry them. They weighed too much for me to have alone.  In time, I would better understand His plans for my family and me. He would also, in time, take care of all my annoying waits. Finally, I realized that I could indeed trust His plans over my own. 

Sometimes all a couple who love each other needs is some time alone to talk things over for a while. Intimacy does wonder for matters of the heart. 

Now, I just wanted to look upon Him for a while. He truly is the chiefest among ten thousand.  No one else comes close in comparison to being like Him. 

Did I tell you about how much He loves me? How He painted a beautiful sunset for me this morning and helped me welcome the day with a symphony of bird songs? 

Did I tell you about the scars He wears? How He tackled the enemy called death, so I will never feel its sting?  Did I tell you that He has a beautiful mansion prepared for me in heaven? He is taking me away to a place where there will be no more pain and heartache. 

Allow me also to mention that He is “altogether“ lovely to me. 

See you in the field, 

Susan