A Day in the Field

Today has been a day. I found myself falling before God emptying all sorts of things. Things like doubt, fear, anger, stress, and worries at His feet. It was like one colossal-sized dump with tears flying everywhere. I looked like a mess. 

I waited to see if He would be angry with me for letting the dam break from all that was on my flooding heart. I had too many “whys” and “I don’t understands” that came out in the mix to actually number.  I tried not to directly accuse and withhold reverence from my God. I admit that I didn’t sugarcoat any of the hard stuff I said either. The truth was it just wasn’t about one day but a lot of days that I had let build up. The moment of truth finally exploded and pieces of shrapnel flew everywhere.

God is Never Made Angry by Seeing Our Tears.

The amazing thing is that He didn’t get mad at me. He let me cry and vent which was what I needed.  I heard the verse  “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted” over and over again while I lay at His feet. A word I so needed to be reminded of in my moment of being less than I imagined I was supposed to be.  The complete verse reads, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalms 34:18 (NIV)

I discovered in that moment of what I considered to be a weakness that it was really what He wanted me to do all along. Surrender. Surrender all of it to the One who was standing waiting and capable to take it. He took the tremendous weight of all my worries off me by letting me cry and then He hugged me. I felt it. 

In God Alone, We Will Find Strength.

I forget sometimes that I wasn’t called to be strong on my own. Nor was I called to always have it all together. I was called because I need Him. Period. I need Him ever as much today as I have all these many years we have traveled this road called life together. 

The truth of the matter is on days like today what I need most is to simply be seen. I know the problems aren’t going to lift magically off my back when I fall on my knees.  The life of a caregiver is a hard and sometimes lonely road to travel. The problems are very real and will still be there when I get up but I do need to know that I am not alone in my struggles. I need to know that someone sees me and hears me. When I truly realize that, my enormous load begins to feel considerably lighter. 

He Encourages Us So We Can Encourage Others.

So whether you too are a caregiver like me or if you are just finding your day harder than most, let me encourage you today. If you are feeling weak, tired, and broken by the loads you are carrying or if you just feel like you need to be seen and heard, let me extend to you an invitation. An invitation to come to walk in the field with me for a while. We can cry together and then cheer each other on. I will whisper in your ear that He is near to the brokenhearted and will save us both. I will also remind you that He has never lost sight of you and what you are going through. He does see you and hears you. 

We can then can work side by side in our fields for a while and let Him drop handfuls of purpose to us to keep us in our fields of faithfulness. We can also remind each other that it is all going to be ok and it is all going to be worth it. 

So from this Ruth 2:16 verse girl to another, I will see you in the field.

Susan